"où êtes-vous?"
so i used to asked. then at some point it became rhetorical. it slowly didn't matter anymore. hye, i'm here, same-o me.i've been on hiatus fer some time, i choose this , i choose to be invisible ( at least to you). you should know, i'm alive, definitely better than the time before. not that it would do any difference. not that its of any significance, but i promised to be a friend, and i am still here. i hope you're happy, i am not bitter. maybe immune would fit in just perfect. this thing in me, the one that beats every half a second, it shrunk . so small that i don't think i have space fer resentment. i don't resent you fer all the things you did or didn't do. my heart is an empty room, and i'm waiting fer my IKEA. .
people are like clothes. your heart jumps at the sight of that new dress on a mannequin, try it shall we. it fits, more than perfect on you. then after some time,it may look just as exact, but when you put it on, it just feels different. it's not that the materials changed, the elements, the sewed on string, the buttons, the pins, the ruffles, the detailed lining - nada, nothing's changed but the colour fades, worn too many of a time. it used to be a favourite, now its in those piles of forgotten draggy cloths. it served you well, even a little more than expected. but it just wears out.
i listen to the beatles and i don't expect to get that same rush like before, and it had to be THE BEATLES :'( i wish you well, i hope you will be happy, but not on the expense of others, i hope you''ll become a realist , i hope that you don't use maturity against anyone, not until you earn that right. i hope the next person that you sing to, would be the song that you wrote, the same one you told me before, the same one that i will never get to hear, and she will sleep to it like a lullaby, trust me, she would find comfort in that. i would know. i hope you make all the right choices, and even if you don't it's all the wrongs that would make it right. please remember her birthday. put her on speed dial. don't let her get grounded. if you decide to buy her a guitar, teach her. you make a good teacher. it wouldn't hurt to ask how she's been. say like you mean it , at least try to. don't hang up on her. don't say hello and then be silent. give and take, it works. don't patronize her, she's not you. she's only human, she's not you. promise me you would give it a try, for her sake, for your sake. tell her about the dreams that you have, about the theories of the world. make all the goodbyes easy. maybe i don't know you enough, so i hope you give her the fair chance i didn't get.
its been too long
thank you, but i am me once more.